


Illusion

by EmeraldWaves



Category: K (Anime)
Genre: Angst, Bottom!Misaki, Happy Birthday Saru, I APOLOGIZE, LOL first fic for this fandom and this is, M/M, Saru being intense, SaruMi - Freeform, Semi-Public Sex, This was supposed to be PWP, angsty smut, i guess, it kind of is?, lol, some past times
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-08
Updated: 2015-11-08
Packaged: 2018-04-30 13:19:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,530
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5165264
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EmeraldWaves/pseuds/EmeraldWaves
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Together, they could do whatever they wanted. They could take on the world, they could be heroes, they could be kings…or that was what Misaki had made him believe.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Illusion

It was his smile that had originally intoxicated Saruhiko. It had been so damn unexpected too. The way his hair shaped his face and his eyes had squeezed together, his cheeks puffed out as his lips parted into a smile.

Saru could feel his heart race faster and faster the longer he stared at Misaki. The longer he spent time with the other boy, the more his desire had become insatiable. He hated Misaki and hated that he needed him.

“…Saru? Saruhiko!” 

“…what?” he sighed, resting his head on his palm. 

“Were you even listening to me?!” Misaki whined, leaning forward in his chair. It was lunchtime, and as per usual, they were eating together. Misaki had been blabbering on about something Saru didn’t really care about. Often times when the other talked, he didn’t listen, rather he watched him. Watched the way his lips moved faster the more excited he grew, watched the way his body shook lightly when he laughed really hard. Watched the way Misaki was so damn _Misaki_.

“No,” Saru replied bluntly. 

“What?! But it was really important!” 

“Doubt it,” Saru shrugged.

“You’re in a mood today,” Misaki sighed sitting back in his chair, flopping over his desk. Saru didn’t think it was worth it to argue with the other and explain he was _always_ in a mood. Yet, even when Misaki was _obnoxious_ , so obnoxious it was almost utterly unbearable, Saru still listened. Still stayed surrounded in everything about the other boy. Misaki’s voice, his gaze, his little un-intimate touches, Saru would’ve begged for it all to stay.

He had never meant to become friends with the other. He would’ve much preferred to be left alone. He would’ve been more productive, or at least, these were the things he told himself over and over again. Still, he sat, across from Misaki, watching him whine. Watching every movement of his lips, every curl, every purse, every pout. Just once he wanted to know what it would be like to touch his lips to Misaki’s. Ever since Misaki had forced his way into Saru’s heart, all he ever really wanted was him. It was a thought which plagued his mind constantly. 

All he needed was Misaki. Together, they could do whatever they wanted. They could take on the world, they could be heroes, they could be kings…or that was what Misaki had made him believe. The idiot always carried that attitude. He was a conqueror, though so far he had only conquered Saru’s heart, though that fact was unbeknownst to Misaki.

Slipping on his shoes after class, Misaki jumped up, his bag swinging off his arm. 

“Let’s get ice cream, my treat. Since you’re in such a mood, it’ll make you feel better,” Misaki smiled, wrapping his hands around the back of his head. Saru rolled his eyes and nudged his shoulder as he walked by him. 

“You don’t have the money to treat me,” he scoffed. “Let’s just go and I’ll pay for myself,” he sighed. 

“Aw, Saru! C’mon! I can afford it just this once!” he said, leaning over the other the best he could. Saru’s breath stopped. He could feel his heart throb forward in his chest, feeling the pressure of Misaki’s chest against his back.

“Forget it, I can pay for myself.” He brushed the other off, heading to the ice cream shop a little ways down the street from their middle school. 

Together, they ordered and in the end, Misaki didn’t even have money on his person to pay for himself, so Saru paid for both of them. Though he neither cared nor was surprised, Misaki kept apologizing profusely, saying he hadn’t realized he’d left his wallet on his desk at home.

Sitting on the bench in the park across the street, Misaki slumped over, still holding the cold treat in his hand. 

“I feel like such an idiot!” he moaned. “Here I was trying to be cool and pay for you and then you paid for me.” He shoved a spoonful of the mint ice cream in his mouth, swallowing roughly. 

“You are an idiot,” Saru mused, the tiny beginnings of a smile forming on his lips. The redhead glared at him, but Saru ignored the look, taking a dainty bite of the vanilla treat. “It’s endearing,” he muttered softly, his teeth grazing over the edge of the white plastic spoon. 

Misaki blushed and shoved a large bite in his mouth once again, “Whatever. One day I’ll treat you to _something_. Just you wait!” he said, his voice filled with determination. He was smiling his idiot smile, his eyes closed, a bit of green ice cream covered his lower lip. So damn messy, so damn Misaki.

It was then Saru did something he had promised himself he would never do. He had never wanted to cross that line. He had held himself back for so long now, locking his desperate need for Misaki deep inside his cold heart, but now it had accidentally broken free. Leaning over, he pressed his lips to Misaki’s, slipping his tongue along the boy’s lower lip, tasting the cold mint which had settled there. 

Misaki grunted, his eyes shooting open, dropping his ice cream into his lap. As quickly as the kiss had happened, it was over. 

“S-S-SARU!” he yelled as the boy pulled back. Saru turned away, placing another bite of ice cream into his mouth, not responding to the blushing boy next to him. “W-WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT!?” 

Saru shrugged, keeping the spoon in his mouth for a moment before removing it with a pop. 

“You had ice cream on your lips and we forgot to get napkins.” 

“S-So you…you just…you just kissed me!?!” he gasped. The ice cream in his lap was melting and pooling around his pants and the bench, green droplets dripping onto the ground.

“You’re so messy,” Saru scoffed, pulling him up. “Let’s go, you need to change.” He didn’t say anything about the kiss. The more Saru thought about it, the more he wanted to do it again. And again. His lips had been rough…cold, from the ice cream he presumed. He wanted to push deeper, press his tongue inside of Misaki’s mouth. He wanted to taste him completely, feel his hot breath mingle with his own, and swallow every flavor that lined his mouth. He was greedy when it came to Misaki and he almost regretted doing it in the first place, since now he only wanted more. 

Misaki’s face stayed red as Saru dragged the other back towards his house. Misaki was so weak against romance or anything remotely sexual, another reason Saru had never wanted to try anything, nervous he would make the other far too uncomfortable. It seemed he had, but not enough to warrant Misaki running away and for that Saru was both thankful and relieved.

They didn’t speak about kissing again for awhile, not until much later, when the two of them lived together. Saru, though desperate to try again, resisted his desire to capture the others lips. Misaki may have conquered his heart but Misaki wasn’t ready for Saru to conquer him back. 

“Saruhiko?” Misaki was sitting on the couch, his knees tucked into his thin chest. His hands were curled around the handheld gaming device, his thumbs pressing hard on the buttons, a soft clacking noise breaking the silence with his voice.

“Hm?” he questioned, not looking up from the computer screen in front of him. 

“Are you hungry?” he grunted. 

“A bit,” he muttered, standing up to make his way down to the couch. He climbed down the ladder, staring at Misaki. The strap of his shirt was slipping off his shoulder, his neck sweaty from the summer heat. Beads of sweat rolled down his smooth creamy skin and Saru felt his mouth run dry. Misaki’s tongue was pressed against his upper lip, his eyes narrow as he concentrated on the moving screen in front of him. Saru’s heartbeat quickened, it was always these little moments which made Saru _want_ him so terribly; that made him almost lose control. 

“DAMMIT!” Misaki yelled, throwing his hands up in loud aggravation and Saru jumped back. “I lost,” he sighed, tossing the device on the couch while he stood up with a long stretch. 

“You always lose, you don’t have to be so loud about it,” Saru sighed, adjusting his glasses on his face. 

“Yeah, yeah. I’m going to make us dinner,” he sighed, scratching at his stomach. “What do you want?” he asked, a smile replacing the frustrated features. 

“Whatever you feel like making,” Saru said, walking towards the kitchen to fill up a cup with water. Waving a hand by his face, Misaki groaned. 

“It’s so damn hot. Maybe we should just go get ice cream. My treat.” 

“Misaki, you barely have enough money for rent,” Saru sighed, rolling his eyes at the other. “Plus you’re always so damn messy about ice cream, don’t make me have to clean you again,” he smirked, his eyes glinting. 

“E-EH!? Again!?” Misaki said, his face flushing. “I can clean myself just fine on my own! I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he growled, crossing his arms over his chest stubbornly.

“Tsk,” Saru scoffed, taking a large gulp of water. “I should be offended that you’ve forgotten your first and only kiss,” he teased, flicking his gaze over to the shorter boy. He could see his mind reeling and his ears gradually turning redder as he recalled the event from a few years prior. 

“T-That wasn’t…that wasn’t my only kiss!” he retorted quickly and Saru couldn’t help but clench his fists. Had Misaki really kissed someone else? No…he was far too awkward for that, but still just the thought of Misaki kissing someone else…Saru bit down on his lip and stepped towards the other. 

“Oh really? So you’re more experienced now?” Saru grinned devilishly. Pouting, Misaki turned away from him. 

“Let’s…go eat,” he muttered, his cheeks glistening with a bright red color which had seemed to settle on his cheeks. 

“Virgin Misaki,” Saru teased.

“We don’t have to talk about this,” he retorted snappily. Reaching down, Saru placed his thumb on Misaki’s chin, turning his face to meet his. “S-Saru…w-what are you doing?” he stammered, but unlike the last time, Misaki didn’t move. Though he seemed to be frozen in place as anticipation built under both their skins. Saru could see Misaki’s chest moving up and down deeper than it had been before, his shirt moving against his hot skin.

“Did you really forget about the time I kissed you?” he asked, lowering his hand from Misaki’s chin. 

Swallowing, Misaki moved his eyes down, leaning back against the kitchen counter with a sigh, he shook his head. 

“Of course not,” he mumbled. “And…I haven’t actually kissed anyone since then,” he whispered. “Have you?” Saru shook his head, staying in front of the other. 

“Haven’t wanted to,” he admitted. 

“B-But…you wanted to kiss me?” he questioned, his cheeks heating up again, his words slurring together. 

“Still want to,” he admitted faster than he had meant to. His heart pounded in his ears, the blood rushing to his head, making him dizzy. Misaki would probably find Saru’s desperate desire to kiss him embarrassing, horrifyingly so. He could picture the look on his red face, Misaki’s eyes wide with confusion and fear of the unknown. 

“Y-You do? I thought you did it cause…we had no napkins.” Saru covered his mouth and began to snicker into his hand.

“Dense Misaki,” he whispered through his soft chuckles. Only Misaki would be so foolish as to believe a white lie such as that.

“W-WELL IF YOU WANT TO KISS ME SO BAD THEN JUST…DO IT!” he yelled, his face the bright red Saru had been expecting. Even with those words, Saru could tell the other didn’t fully understand what he was saying; Misaki just didn’t like to be challenged. Lowering himself closer, he placed his hands on both sides of Misaki, forcing his back against the counter. 

“I will then,” he muttered, his lips inches from the shorter’s. He didn’t wait to bring them to together. His lips covering Misaki’s quickly. He felt the other tense underneath the pressure, his shoulder’s rising awkwardly towards his ears. His lips were thinly tight against Saru’s. Their first kiss had been much more natural, since Misaki had been so unsuspecting. This time Saru had given him time to prepare, but Misaki’s embarrassed, inexperienced body wasn’t quite sure how to react. “Calm down,” he said, opening his eyes to stare into Misaki’s wide ones. “We’ve done this before, there’s no need to be so tense. Unless…do you want me to stop?” he asked, his breath falling over Misaki’s lips. Saru watched as a shiver ran through Misaki’s body, who slowly shook his head. 

“N-No…it was…it was okay.” 

Saru took that as permission to do it again. He pressed their lips together, his yearning pouring against Misaki. It had been years of want building up in his body. Years had he watched the other sit so unknowingly on the couch. Dense and oblivious Misaki, always driving him completely wild, desperate to touch, to kiss…or even simply hold him. 

And now he was. 

He slipped his hands onto Misaki’s hips, his thumbs stroking against his waist, barely hidden by his loose shirt. He pressed Misaki’s body against the counter, their hips colliding with a gentle roll. 

“Open your mouth,” he whispered and Misaki nodded, swallowing a soft pant. He opened his lips, permitting Saru to enter with his tongue, wrapping the wet muscle around Misaki’s. The shorter let out a soft whimper, which only spurred Saru on, thrusting his tongue deep inside of Misaki’s open mouth. The kiss was sloppy and though Saru was inexperienced as well, he could tell Misaki had no idea what to do with his tongue. Saru didn’t mind however, taking the lead as he flicked his own against the roof of Misaki’s mouth. 

Misaki’s breath was hot and his tongue was smaller than Saru had expected. For someone who was so loud, Saru thought Misaki’s mouth was rather cute. Their saliva mixed and Saru drank in all of Misaki he could handle, soft moans slipping past both of their lips. The taste was better than before, truly Misaki, no mint to mask the original sweet taste.

He moved his lips to Misaki’s neck, sucking on his pulse; his wet lips lapping up the salty sweat which was stuck to his skin. His hands trailed down to Misaki’s ass, gripping at the skin under his shorts. Misaki yelped at the unexpected movement, his hand burying itself in Saru’s hair.  
 “S-Saru! W-What are you…doing?!” he yelled, moaning louder than he meant to now his lips were free. He covered his mouth. 

“Enjoying you,” he panted, sucking on his neck harder, licking at his skin. Their hips pressed together and Saru smirked. “Since you seem to be enjoying me.” He hoisted the smaller onto the counter, kissing down his shoulder. 

“S-Shut up!” Misaki hissed, throwing his head back with a moan. 

And Saru did…but Misaki certainly didn’t that evening.

That was then; how it should’ve been for the rest of their lives. Blissful happiness. Yet Saru knew it was only a matter of time before Misaki’s attention shifted. 

Now, Saru watched him differently. With a click of his tongue he had turned his back on the other. The dreams of middle school children shatter easily, like a tiny glass marble. Dropped from short distance, it would bounce and roll, the turmoil inside keeping it steady and stable enough to survive the fall. But dropped from a large distance, the ball would break and shatter, the shards cutting deep into the ground.

Saru didn’t need to feel the shards digging into his heart any longer. So he dispelled the illusion of the childhood he had never held dear.

They couldn’t take on the world, there was no need for them to be heroes or kings…there were other people who fit those roles. Saruhiko was not one of them and neither was Misaki. 

Misaki had become the perfect red lapdog and it disgusted Saru down to his core. Misaki, his Misaki, who had been so desperate to push forward, to rule the world with him, was now nothing more than a simple follower.

He smiled when Mikoto praised him, laughed when Mikoto wasn’t even funny, followed him like a child, desperate to be whatever Mikoto wanted him to be. When everyone else had turned their back on Misaki, hated him, called him names behind his back, it had been Saru to be there for him. Though the other had annoyed him to no end, he stayed and let Misaki force himself in to his life. Before Misaki had wanted _Saru_ to laugh. Misaki had wanted to be with _Saru_ all the time. Misaki had given up everything to stay with the other. Now, Misaki had turned his back on him. The time of Misaki and Saru had come to stilted end.

A darkness grew inside of Saru, eating away at his heart and his bones. It slowly manifested itself in the scar that now stained his chest. The burn coming back to haunt him every so often. 

This was now. Misaki had looked at him again, but no longer with adoration. His hate was as deeply rooted as his entire being now was in HOMRA. No longer were they ruled by child-like hope, only anger rest in the pit of their stomachs. 

Seeing Misaki, fighting with him, only made the blue inside of Saru burn harder in the depths of his body.

Saru wrapped his lithe fingers around Misaki’s neck. Each digit caressing his skin softly as his fingers gripped at his skin. 

“Mi~sa~ki~” he hissed, pushing Misaki against the wall, his lips just inches from the other’s ear. “Do you hate it?” he whispered. His voice punching every consonant, every syllable. “My fingers touching your skin? Contaminating you…The hand of a traitor?” The words flew out of his mouth with such bite, Misaki winced when they made it into his ear. Saru could no longer control the words which sprang from his throat every time he saw Misaki. 

“Don’t…say my name like that…damn monkey…” he choked out. Saru could feel Misaki’s nails scratch down his arm, tugging at his skin. However, he only laughed, unfazed by the light pain they caused him. 

“How should I say it? Hm?” he hummed in his ear, his hot breath tickling at Misaki’s skin. He turned his head, slamming his eyes shut, not wanting to hear anymore of what Saru had to say. “Do you prefer it if I moan your name softly?” he asked, softly breathing against his ear. “Mi~sa~ki~,” he purred in the other’s ear. “Does that remind you of the other times I’ve fucked you?” A visible shiver ran through the shorter’s body. 

“S-Shut up.”

“Or maybe you prefer it growled and loud,” he teased, pressing his nails into the side of Misaki’s neck. “Misaki!” he yelled, causing the other to move his head farther. “Does that remind you of all the times you’ve wanted to punch me? All the times I’ve almost destroyed you?”

“Stop!” Misaki snarled in angry response, snapping his teeth at the taller. 

“Stop?” Saru chuckled, pulling back on his neck, slamming the other against the wall again. “You want me to stop?” he clicked his tongue, staring down at the other. “How disappointing,” he sighed. “You used to cling to me and beg for more. ‘Saru, please, Saru more…Saruuuu~’” he teased, mimicking the other. “What happened to that Misaki? Will you not let a traitor fuck you? You act like such a virgin when you know you’re not.” 

“D-Dammit Saru, you know w-why…” he stammered, coughing as the grip around his neck grew tighter. “Let go, asshole.”

“Why?” he asked, licking his lips, a soft laugh reverberating in his chest. Just because Misaki so easily let him go, didn’t mean Saru could do the same for him. Moving on wasn’t a two way street. He smirked, his smile lighting up his face. 

Using his free hand, he pinned Misaki’s hand above his head. His sweatshirt slipped down, revealing the wristwatch PDA Saru had given him. Leaning forward, Saru pressed his nose against Misaki’s wrist, his teeth wrapping around the band, tugging on it. 

“I’m serious,” he growled, gritting his teeth. “Let go!” Misaki snapped, pulling his wrist against Saru’s tight grip. 

For a moment Saru could only hear his breathing as he stared down at Misaki. His gaze was angry, filled with the hate Saru had filled him with. What had happened to the boy who had so desperately wanted to befriend him? What had happened to the boy he had actually felt…affection for? Why had things turned out like this?

“Why do you still have this?” he said, pulling back to meet Misaki’s glare. “If you truly hated me, wouldn’t you have gotten rid of it ages ago?” Saru smiled, especially when Misaki’s cheeks lit up a fiery red. 

“It’s always been there…” Misaki whispered. 

“Just like me?” Saru asked, staring at the other. A silence hung in the air and Saru felt his hand push back ever so slightly as Misaki swallowed heavily. His eyes narrowed and Misaki turned his gaze away. 

“But you haven’t…always been there,” he muttered. Growling, Saru moved his hand from Misaki’s neck to his chin, squeezing his cheeks hard. He yanked his face back to face him, his eyes staring heavily.

“You left me first,” Saru bit out. Twisting his head free from Saru’s grip, Misaki pushed at Saru’s shoulder, grabbing at the collar of his shirt. 

“I never left you. You’re the only one who left. Or did you forget this?” Misaki spat at the other, yanking down his shirt collar to catch a glimpse of the burned tattoo on his neck. 

A sad look came over Saru’s face, his breathing heavy. Of course he hadn’t forgotten. 

“You’ll never understand, Misaki,” he whimpered out, moving both his hands to the shorter man’s shoulders. Gripping him tightly, he held him against the wall. He moved his head forward and tilted his lips towards the markings he had left on his neck. “Look at only me…” he whispered against his skin. 

There was always pain when Misaki was involved now, or so Saru thought, pressing his lips against the other’s neck, kissing him. He’d missed the taste of his skin, the salty, hot feeling which had graced his lips so many nights. He felt Misaki’s hand push against his chest hard. 

“S-Stop!” he called out again, louder this time. He head struggled to move from Saru’s lips. His voice a shaky rumble in his chest. Saru blinked, his lips frozen on his neck. His hand trembled against Misaki’s wrist. Misaki had never pushed him away so forcefully before. During their first kiss years ago he had frozen and blushed, but still hadn’t moved. In their apartment the first time, he had been awkward and tense but never before had he so vehemently said no. 

He gasped softly, his slender fingers slipping down Misaki’s wrist, curving slightly against the smooth skin. He pressed his forehead against his shoulder, watching his own chest rise and fall with his weighted breathing. There had been a time when he’d needed Misaki. A time when he was certain Misaki had needed him back. His fingertips curled around the band of Misaki’s wristwatch. 

“Misaki…” he whispered, his name rolling off his tongue softly as he breathed in a large breath. It was the most gentle he had said his name in years. It weighed him down, the desperation, the soft cry for the boy to love him again. Him and only him. He didn’t want to compete with HOMRA. 

He wanted Misaki’s smile to be for him. His curiosity to pique when Saru explained something intelligent Misaki didn’t quite understand. He wanted to hear his laugh ring in his ears, swallow his body whole, and make him feel alive with everything Misaki was.

Saru stayed frozen against Misaki’s body, their breathing moved together, softly. Though they were in the city, it was all Saru could hear, each huff hitting his ear with gentle precision. Misaki was all he could smell, his scent permeating his nose and Misaki’s bitter taste lingered on the roof of his mouth.

“Saruhiko,” the other replied finally, breaking the silence. He felt Misaki’s hand trail through his hair, his rough fingers pulled his dark strands gently, meeting their eyes. A flicker of nostalgia ran through Misaki’s eyes, his hazel hues softening. “Do it fast,” he whispered, his cheeks lighting up under the other’s blue gaze. 

Saru moved his hand up from Misaki’s wrist to his open palm, lacing their fingers together. His heart fluttered heavily in his chest when he felt Misaki’s fingers curl into his own, squeezing him. He brought his lips down over Misaki’s, taking them for his own for the first time in years. He sighed against him, his lips pressing down over the other’s, tugging on his bottom lip, panting heavily into his open mouth. He kissed down his chin and neck, tasting every part of his skin. Misaki’s free hand clung to Saru’s hair, hot breaths flowed into his dark locks. It had been far too long since he’d been able to hear the pleasure drip from Misaki’s mouth. 

For this brief moment, Saru could cling to his retired illusion; the world he and Misaki had created together as children. The world they had wanted to rule. For just tonight, he could be in the world Misaki had so foolishly believed in. 

He sucked on Misaki’s neck, pulling whimpers from deep within the boy’s throat. Pushing himself forward, he rolled his hips against Misaki’s.

“S-Saru…” he whispered, squeezing the hand in his hair tighter. His voice was shaky and breathy, trickling with a desire Saru had been longing to hear again. He had been fooling himself into hating Misaki for so long, he had forgotten how delicious the other’s voice grew when he was wanting Saru. 

“Misaki,” he moaned quietly. Reaching up, he pulled the hat off his head and ran his hand through his red strands. Bringing his other hand lower, he yanked off the red sweater tied around his waist. “You’ve missed this,” he chuckled, bringing his hands to rest on his hips. He slipped his fingers under the baggy white shirt, his fingertips running gently over Misaki’s sides.

“S-Shut up,” he moaned, his voice and body betraying him completely as he shivered against the gentle caress.

“Never,” he teased, leaning his forehead against Misaki’s, staring down at him. With a smirk, he thrust his hips forward, grinding up against the shorter, pushing him against the wall. Misaki’s mouth hung open, panting, staring up at the other. Their noses brushed together, Misaki’s grunts hitching in his throat.

“S-Sa…ah…ngh…” he whispered, his words trapped in his dry throat. With each soft motion of his hips, Saru could feel how tight Misaki was in his shorts, even against the fabric of his own pants. 

He slipped his hands down the back of Misaki’s shorts, gripping the taut skin of his ass hard. His fingers squeezed him forward, pressing their hips together. Misaki’s whimpers were needy as Saru kept their hips close, each movement harder than the next. 

“You can’t even say my name,” he panted, kissing his lips, sucking on Misaki’s upper. 

“Well…y-you’re…hah…panting too…” he groaned, pressing the back of his head against the wall, squeezing his eyes shut. “D-Dammit hurry up…” he whispered. “S-Someone could see…” he whimpered softly. Saru smirked against Misaki’s lips, finding that last fact all the the more thrilling. So what if they saw? Then everyone would know they hadn’t completely let each other go. Misaki didn’t entirely belong to HOMRA. This part of him belonged to Saru and Saru alone. 

He pushed himself closer to Misaki, pushing his pants to ground. He wrapped a hand around Misaki’s hardened cock, causing the shorter to lurch forward. Bringing his hands to Saru’s shoulders, Misaki’s shut his eyes, whimpering desperately as his hips moved up against Saru’s closed palm.  
 “Ngh…S-Saru…” he groaned. With his free hand, Saru brought his fingers up to his own mouth. 

“Open your eyes…watch me,” he purred, squeezing the base of Misaki’s cock. His eyes flew open, staring at Saru’s mouth wrapped around his own fingers, the soft sucking noises causing Misaki’s face to flush even more. He pulled his fingers out with a pop, dipping them down to Misaki’s small hole. He teased the shorter, pushing his finger against his hole. “Tell me you want it, Misaki. Tell me you’ve _missed_ it,” he hissed with a smile. 

Looking away from the other, Misaki nodded. 

“Use your words,” Saru teased. 

“I…” His body lurched forward slightly as Saru pushed the finger inside, up to his first knuckle. “I’ve…I’ve…maybe…” His pants turned to whimpers as Saru slowly pulled the finger back out. 

“It’s not nice to lie, Misaki,” Saru chuckled, nibbling on his ear lobe, licking up and down the side of his ear. 

“…I’ve missed it…” he growled through a soft moan. 

“Good,” he smirked, silently thinking he missed it too. Thrusting his finger back up, Saru pushed inside of him fully, with surprising ease. “Have you been masturbating up here, Misaki?” he whispered, stroking his cock slowly, his thumb teasing at the pre-cum which had gathered on his tip. He pulled his finger down, adding a second, curling both into him. 

“N-No…” he muttered. Rubbing his finger down against Misaki’s prostate, he watched as the other twitched against him. “A-AH! S-Saru!” Misaki yelped, his ass wiggling against the fingers buried deep inside of him.

“So someone _else_ has been fucking you?” he hissed, pulling his fingers back out. Adding a third, he thrust them as deep inside the other as he could, pumping him full and watching as Misaki’s legs shook, desperately clinging to the other to hold himself up. 

“Fine…agh…ngh…y-yes…I…I’ve done stuff…myself…” he admitted quickly. “Hurry up, Saru…I-I said…fast…” he groaned, his body heaving heavily against the wall. 

“Heh. I don’t know why you act so innocent when you’re just as lewd as everyone else,” Saru grinned, curving his fingers yet again. He hit Misaki’s precious spot, which elicited a yelp from his small lips. “You’ve always been so damn impatient, Misaki…” he sighed, pulling his fingers from him. He reached forward, pulling down his pants enough to let his own hard length out. Pressing against Misaki, he ran his hand over both of their cocks, rubbing the pre-cum over both of them. The two boys panted together; Misaki pressed against the wall, his forehead leaning on Saru’s shoulder and Saru growled softly, rutting his hips against Misaki’s. 

“J-Just…shut up and…do it…” Misaki begged angrily. 

Pulling back, he gripped at Misaki’s ass, hoisting him up the wall farther. 

“Wrap your legs around my waist,” Saru instructed, feeling his heart flutter as Misaki brought both of his legs around Saru’s hips. Clinging to Misaki’s waist, he guided him down, lowering the boy onto his hard cock. “Hah…” Saru sighed, swallowing hard as he felt Misaki pull him inside. It had been so long since they were connected like this. So long since he had felt the warm heat that came with being intimate with the other boy. “M-Misaki…” he stammered, his voice hitching with each long pant that left his lips. 

 Misaki locked his ankles around Saru’s back and draped his hands over his shoulders. He grunted, letting out deep huffs as Saru pushed inside of him rubbing up against the most pleasurable spots. He hadn’t been this stretched in so long and with each moment that passed he felt the pleasure rushed through his body. Shivers flew down his limbs and back, his skin prickling with a heat he’d be missing.

“S-Saru…Saru…” he panted the other boy’s name over and over. Gripping at his ass, Saru held him in place, relishing being inside the other boy, loving hearing Misaki call his name repeatedly. He wanted to move…he wanted to create the heated friction he knew they both loved so much, but for a moment, he wanted to hold Misaki as he had always held him before. 

Burying his lips into the crook of Misaki’s neck, he kissed his skin softly, supporting his weight against the wall. Pulling his hips down, he snapped them back up inside the other slowly.

“Mi…sa…ki…” he breathed out softly, his hips rocking up into him. Looking up, he saw the other filled with bliss. His head was tilted back, mouth open, as he stared at the sky, his chest panting heavily. Gripping his ass harder, Saru began to pump into the other faster, his hips snapping as Misaki rocked down against him. With each thrust, he felt the head push against his prostate, causing the redhead to twitch and moan against Saru. Misaki’s heels dug into his back, his hands gripping at his blue jacket. 

Sliding his hands over Saru’s neck, Misaki tilted his head down, pulling their lips together. He kissed him hard, moaning into his mouth, Saru couldn’t help but love every moment of it. Misaki’s hands rubbed at his neck and cheeks. His fingertips gliding down to his chest, sliding under the collar of his shirt. They froze, hovering over the slightly raised skin from the burn mark Saru had created on his own chest. 

 “Does it…hurt…?” Misaki whispered, staring down into Saru’s blue eyes. The movement slowed, Saru burying himself in Misaki fully. Saru stared at his hazel eyes shimmering in the bright lights from the city at night. Misaki looked older; pain had aged his face only slightly. His eyes were deeper, filled with a nostalgic longing. His fingers were genuine, the way each digit moved over the scar with such gentle care. His chest had never burned harder than now, with Misaki’s loving fingers touching the memories Saru had so desperately tried to rid himself of. Gripping his waist hard, he brought a hand up, yanking the fingers from his chest, squeezing them between his grip. He recaptured Misaki’s lips, refusing to answer the question. He didn’t want the reminder; didn’t need it…right now Misaki was his. 

He pumped his hips fast up into Misaki, pounding into him hard. Misaki moaned louder than he meant to. His fingers dug into Saru’s hand, clinging to him desperately. Kissing down his neck, Saru sucked on Misaki’s delicious skin. He could’ve tasted him forever.

“Mine,” he hissed, his teeth grazing over the HOMRA mark which stained Misaki’s chest. Not theirs, right now Misaki was his. His hips thrusting down onto Saru, his panting growing heavier and heavier. Misaki was moaning _his_ name. He was desperate for _him_. No one else. These facts were enough to almost drive Saru over the edge. 

“S-Saru…Saru…p-please…” Misaki whimpered, his body moving with every hard thrust Saru shot into his body. Leaning up, Saru kissed him again, wrapping his tongue around Misaki’s, the two moaning desperately for each other, close to the completion they had been lusting for. Letting go of Misaki’s hand, Saru wrapped his hand around his cock, pumping him in time with his thrusts.

“Cum, Misaki,” he demanded. “Cum for me…” 

“S-Saru…A-Ah…!” His eyes shot open, his body clenching around Saru. His head pushed back against the wall as his orgasm rushed through his body, his cum spurting onto Saru’s hand. 

“M-Misaki…” he panted heavily against his lips, feeling Misaki clench tightly around his length. Grunting, he felt the tension in his stomach snap, his own finish pouring into Misaki. Their bodies twitched together, Saru holding Misaki against the wall, staying inside of him. 

The two slowly calmed their breathing down, Misaki clung to Saru hard, knowing if he tried to stand he would fall. Saru kept his mouth buried in Misaki’s neck, breathing heavily against the other, not quite ready to let go. The second he pulled away Misaki would disappear. No longer would he be Saru’s. He would belong to the red which burned deep in his soul, just as the blue now burned deep in Saru.

“Saru…” Misaki began. His voice was tired, breathless, and filled with longing. Saru had a feeling he knew what was about to follow his name. They had said it to each other many times before…back when the words were true. When their naive lives had been intertwined, Saru had actually believed Misaki when he said those three words, more than anyone else who had ever said them to him. The list was sad and small…but Misaki had changed the meaning of them. He couldn’t hear them now. He didn’t want to. 

“Don’t,” he whispered, quickly cutting Misaki off. 

“But-” 

“I said don’t!” he snapped, wrapping his arms around him tighter. Slowly, he pulled out of him, lowering Misaki to the pavement. Shakily, Misaki pulled up his pants, while Saru did the same, both feeling awkward. The shorter leaned back against the wall, clearly spent. Misaki ran his hand down his face and Saru wondered if Misaki regretted it, what they had just done. Sighing, Saru softly pressed his forehead against Misaki’s. “This isn’t us…not anymore.” 

“I know…” Misaki replied. His voice was so soft it scared Saru. He hated when Misaki wasn’t loud…when he was quiet and vulnerable, it made him real. It made Saru want to cave in to the emotions buried under his skin and beg Misaki to run away from all this. They could be together again…just the two of them taking on the world like they had always planned. Perhaps Misaki could help Saru love the world he had come to hate so much yet again. Apparently, childish dreams were harder to kill off than Saru thought.

Still, Saru knew it would never work. Misaki would never leave HOMRA. Not for him, not for anyone. Clenching his fist, he pushed off the wall, about to leave Misaki behind without another word. But Misaki grabbed his hands quickly, yanking him back, pressing their lips together one more time. After many years of taking Misaki off-guard, Saru had never expected it would ever be the other way around, but he stood, eyes wide, as Misaki initiated the soft kiss between them. His body limp, he let the kiss happen, silently wishing it didn’t have to end. 

“You’re so dense, Misaki,” he whispered against Misaki’s lips as the other pulled back. 

“So are you,” he muttered, dropping their hands slowly.

“Maybe I am,” Saru chuckled softly, pressing his glasses up his nose. 

The next time he saw Misaki, Saru could only assume they would be fighting again, both intoxicated by their feigned hatred.

**Author's Note:**

> Originally this was going to be PWP and then it got long and plotty...XD Oops. Ahaha my first fic for the K fandom. Thank you for reading, I kind of struggled with Saru, but I wanted to at least try cause their relationship is so interesting to me. Hopefully people like this ^^ LOL.
> 
> Talk to me on twitter @musickazoo or tumblr emeraldwaves.tumblr.com !! I would love to make more K Project friends <3


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